From this much of their story, I concluded there will be one of two outcomes. E.K.'s "monotonous march from forty to the grave" or a short marriage. Madeline's TV loudness rule tips my scale toward the latter.
I love your story Clancy. I can’t help but feel if only Madeline had rubbed Steven’s ears instead of the dog’s she might have achieved a far better outcome.
I hear what you mean. steven is definitely amenable to rubbing/stroking of his ego in any manner at all. thanks for reading Kate. I hope you stay tuned for future stories and welcome to PNP!
Even the small yet not insubstantial overlap of my personality with Steven’s has been a cause for reflection. Also thanks for reminding me that I HATE women (just kidding, but you know, you need tension there for it to work).
I'm impressed with your ability to write about this age range without ragequitting as the thought of it makes me want to bowk. it must take a lot of internal strength. 😂
Q: How do you interpret Steven and Madeline’s relationship? Do you think their dynamic is sustainable in the long run?
A: It felt transactional, which aligned with the introductory paragraph. Steven mentions loving the dog and the things in the apartment, but not Madeline. I feel she offers the same type of protection the well-to-do parents do. I'm not quite sure what Madeline gets from it. It feels like they'll go for a year and then burn out because Steven doesn't really love her.
oh absolutely. yeah he cares more about the setting and life circumstances than her. But I think what madeline gets from it is the "Next Step". she's unwilling to see his faults.
thanks Sharron. i think you put it best. sheer stupidity. i don’t think they have a chance at all. some others who have commented otherwise i think are a bit too hopeful!! hahah
Mmmm…. Goooood stuff. And as a related answer to a not directly asked question: I have witnessed many late-stage marriages that have no doubt started under similar portentous moments, but they were held together by religion — evangelical Christianity specifically, in my experience. It’s a sin to divorce in the mind of these terminally unhappy couples, and so it isn’t even an option. It’s bad. They end up soiling the image of love relationships and marriage — it’s real bad.
yeah I hear you there keith. seen many of those myself. I think what's interesting is I kind of see Steven and Madeline as trapped by their own "religion" or perhaps lack of one-- they have unyielding beliefs which they allow to be satisfied by the other, even if it means sacrificing themselves. false and shallow desires they've never had a chance to introspect on.
Ah. Was so excited I missed your questions. I hope that it’s not the norm in relationships, I really do. And perhaps the relationship will last as long as both are getting something they want out of it.
Great story, Clancy! "She takes the remote from him" is the line that sums up everything -- no wonder it's the closing line. Beautiful narrative style, as always. :)
The style of this story is very unique from a narrative point of view at this current time point in literary history... I'll tell you that much. Definitely still in the realm of parable. But in a good way.
thanks for reading Emil. I value your opinion a lot. very few of the people who talk writing on here earn my respect like you do. yeah you're irascible and angry at times, but when you offer advice and assessments of my own work and others, it's one of the few voices that makes me actually nod my head. we have similar sentiments perhaps in a general sense, even if your fiction and my own are very different, and in fact we may have very different tastes in general. my style is unique because much like steven in the story, whenever I read things I very am looking at how I can be different rather than fit in. it comes at a cost, but I don't really know any other way. I spent a lot of my twenties trying to write in a "cooler" more in vogue way and I felt like I lost myself. check out my story "the mall". I think it's a bit more representative of that era of mine.
oh my, I feel like you fleshed this world out so wonderfully more than I ever could! Steven with the neighbor would be so crazy with the cat having died and everything. spicy books are on point for Madeline hahah. Thanks for reading EK!
Under foreseeable circumstances
When a dog sees a cat, it pounces
Some boy meets a girl
She makes his life hell
They wed out of sheer reactance
Yeah. Or sheer stupidity...
brilliant
From this much of their story, I concluded there will be one of two outcomes. E.K.'s "monotonous march from forty to the grave" or a short marriage. Madeline's TV loudness rule tips my scale toward the latter.
The longevity of this relationship may depend on how well Madeline learns to use reverse psychology.
hahah 100%! she'd have to become a master of it
absolutely. it's her house, after all!
You never kill the cat dude... You NEVER kill the cat. Now I'm like, extra sad.
ugh yeah it hurt to write. but think of how happy the dog was.
I love your story Clancy. I can’t help but feel if only Madeline had rubbed Steven’s ears instead of the dog’s she might have achieved a far better outcome.
I hear what you mean. steven is definitely amenable to rubbing/stroking of his ego in any manner at all. thanks for reading Kate. I hope you stay tuned for future stories and welcome to PNP!
Thank you, Clancy. I am a fan of everything well-written, so I will consume your work when I’m not rubbing ears. Have a lovely weekend.
Even the small yet not insubstantial overlap of my personality with Steven’s has been a cause for reflection. Also thanks for reminding me that I HATE women (just kidding, but you know, you need tension there for it to work).
I'm impressed with your ability to write about this age range without ragequitting as the thought of it makes me want to bowk. it must take a lot of internal strength. 😂
“her chief goals in life have been to move on to The Next Step, as quickly as possible and as life will allow”…
“As life will allow” 😅 love it
haha thanks Port! I liked that line too!
Q: How do you interpret Steven and Madeline’s relationship? Do you think their dynamic is sustainable in the long run?
A: It felt transactional, which aligned with the introductory paragraph. Steven mentions loving the dog and the things in the apartment, but not Madeline. I feel she offers the same type of protection the well-to-do parents do. I'm not quite sure what Madeline gets from it. It feels like they'll go for a year and then burn out because Steven doesn't really love her.
Anyway, loved it as per usual
oh absolutely. yeah he cares more about the setting and life circumstances than her. But I think what madeline gets from it is the "Next Step". she's unwilling to see his faults.
thanks Will!!
Great story, Clancy. I loved it. These two are both immature and delusional. They haven't a chance in hell, if you ask me.
thanks Sharron. i think you put it best. sheer stupidity. i don’t think they have a chance at all. some others who have commented otherwise i think are a bit too hopeful!! hahah
Mmmm…. Goooood stuff. And as a related answer to a not directly asked question: I have witnessed many late-stage marriages that have no doubt started under similar portentous moments, but they were held together by religion — evangelical Christianity specifically, in my experience. It’s a sin to divorce in the mind of these terminally unhappy couples, and so it isn’t even an option. It’s bad. They end up soiling the image of love relationships and marriage — it’s real bad.
yeah I hear you there keith. seen many of those myself. I think what's interesting is I kind of see Steven and Madeline as trapped by their own "religion" or perhaps lack of one-- they have unyielding beliefs which they allow to be satisfied by the other, even if it means sacrificing themselves. false and shallow desires they've never had a chance to introspect on.
I think this is a common phenomenon now.
I think inequality never wins. It's a forceful existence at most. So...I'm all for the prison break. :)
hahah right on! thanks for reading
Loved it. Good to see fiction on substack♥️
thank you for being here for fiction on Substack!
On substack for fiction and poetry
then you're in the right place!
Great character writing!
thank you! i think these two are really fun to hate.
Brutal! But I loved it! You are excellent at diving in to different psyches, exploring the human condition. Love your writing as always.
i do my best! it's always based on people i know or attitudes I feel are prevalent...
Ah. Was so excited I missed your questions. I hope that it’s not the norm in relationships, I really do. And perhaps the relationship will last as long as both are getting something they want out of it.
I think they'll both get what they want out of it...until they don't if you know what I mean.
Yes, I think I do.
Great story, Clancy! "She takes the remote from him" is the line that sums up everything -- no wonder it's the closing line. Beautiful narrative style, as always. :)
Thank you silvio. as I said to C. Lee mcKenzie -- It is HER house; he won't get away without following the rules for long.
The style of this story is very unique from a narrative point of view at this current time point in literary history... I'll tell you that much. Definitely still in the realm of parable. But in a good way.
thanks for reading Emil. I value your opinion a lot. very few of the people who talk writing on here earn my respect like you do. yeah you're irascible and angry at times, but when you offer advice and assessments of my own work and others, it's one of the few voices that makes me actually nod my head. we have similar sentiments perhaps in a general sense, even if your fiction and my own are very different, and in fact we may have very different tastes in general. my style is unique because much like steven in the story, whenever I read things I very am looking at how I can be different rather than fit in. it comes at a cost, but I don't really know any other way. I spent a lot of my twenties trying to write in a "cooler" more in vogue way and I felt like I lost myself. check out my story "the mall". I think it's a bit more representative of that era of mine.
oh my, I feel like you fleshed this world out so wonderfully more than I ever could! Steven with the neighbor would be so crazy with the cat having died and everything. spicy books are on point for Madeline hahah. Thanks for reading EK!