The scene setting here was spot-on. I think poor Mike has a lot to work through but this line made me hear him in a way I've never heard a character: "...his voice as strained as fresh saran wrap across a bowl of Thanksgiving cranberry sauce." Really great stuff!!!
This was fun to read. Interesting how you took what seemed like a flat character, turned him into the speaker-of-the-truth, and gave him so much depth.
Wonderful take on a classic detective story. I can even picture how Harrow looks and sounds. I especially got s kick out of how Harrow doesn't think about having a stiff swing of whiskey afterward, but escaping in porn.
This was a great read. It’s 5:00 am, so not too bad for insomnia.
Have you ever read the Yiddish Policeman’s Union by Michael Choban? It’s about a detective, very raw, but with similar humor, and Choban is a phenomenal when it comes to character development. I hope you don’t mind the suggestion. I thought you might connect with his work in this way since you, too, posses a lovely ability to develop characters.
I really enjoyed this read. We did unfortunately have a brother of a close family friend fall into one of these scams. Drained accounts (and stole money) to suffice the issue. Still, I don’t think they totally accept they were scammed. They were a similarly isolated person at least when it came to friendships and romance, not much contact outside of his parents and siblings. It’s so hard to watch. You wish you could just shake them into reality.
hey ciel! i am so so honored you brought Michael Chabon to mind—I am making my way through his works now and I consider him a big influence and admire his work. haven’t read that one yet though. i do not mind the suggestion at all and i will in fact read it soon!
and yes, I won’t go into details but I know of a situation kinda like this. it’s really difficult to watch. i hope uncle mike is at least somewhat a sympathetic character.
Nice reference to the sunk cost fallacy, which is so often a driver in these scams. Great story, the action was on point, found myself totally engrossed in that scene.
thanks Jon! darkly funny is usually my thing but tense isn’t, so it was a challenge trying to achieve that and gratifying to hear at least someone thinks I pulled it off
Harrow is definitely an intriguing character, I’m not sure he has much room to grow but if I made more of these like many are suggesting I’d try to put some interesting others in his orbit
He’ll be back, and back doing romance scam reveals. It’s where the money is, after all. He will have to do some more personal research himself, which might make for a good story; and don’t forget that Minerva can be a target, too. And that apparent throw away comment about complicity is a “shotgun over the mantel in the first act,” right?
Haha you're not the first in this thread to mention the possible return of Harrow--all great ideas. there's a few ideas I can think of, especially with the research thing.
And Minerva! great catch. whoever he hires to be a receptionist could definitely be a great side character.
thanks sharron, i love those lines too! you always choose the best ones. i so appreciate your readership. you’re the second to call for a second harrow story so we’ll see!
thanks EJ! i dove a bit into your domain of more genre oriented stuff here so coming from you, that’s a high compliment. we’ll see about Harrow ahaha, I’ve had the thought…
The scene setting here was spot-on. I think poor Mike has a lot to work through but this line made me hear him in a way I've never heard a character: "...his voice as strained as fresh saran wrap across a bowl of Thanksgiving cranberry sauce." Really great stuff!!!
thanks bryan, I like that one too!
This was fun to read. Interesting how you took what seemed like a flat character, turned him into the speaker-of-the-truth, and gave him so much depth.
Good work. Also, your descriptions are top notch.
thanks Diana glad you liked it! and thanks for the recomendation by the way!
This is great, Clancy! I hope Harrow shows up again somewhere.
thanks Lyndsey! he may yet... I just got an idea responding to another comment that suggested as much
Second! I’d like to hear from Harrow again
Wonderful take on a classic detective story. I can even picture how Harrow looks and sounds. I especially got s kick out of how Harrow doesn't think about having a stiff swing of whiskey afterward, but escaping in porn.
thanks Frederick! i’m a novice to the genre for sure but it was really fun. Harrow is definitely a bit more modern in his vices.
Terrific story! The characters of Uncle Mike and Harrow are beautifully done, and the tension and emotion is high test.
thanks Liz! they were fun characters to imagine and write.
Clancy I… need to sit with this one for a while
Well done
thanks Sudz. sit and think
ok weird side note, only one other person has ever called me Sudz!
wow what a high school flashback
This story is different from your usual and I like it a lot. I love seeing authors and artists branch and out.
glad you liked it keith. it was fun to write!
This was a great read. It’s 5:00 am, so not too bad for insomnia.
Have you ever read the Yiddish Policeman’s Union by Michael Choban? It’s about a detective, very raw, but with similar humor, and Choban is a phenomenal when it comes to character development. I hope you don’t mind the suggestion. I thought you might connect with his work in this way since you, too, posses a lovely ability to develop characters.
I really enjoyed this read. We did unfortunately have a brother of a close family friend fall into one of these scams. Drained accounts (and stole money) to suffice the issue. Still, I don’t think they totally accept they were scammed. They were a similarly isolated person at least when it came to friendships and romance, not much contact outside of his parents and siblings. It’s so hard to watch. You wish you could just shake them into reality.
Have you experienced it with a loved one?
hey ciel! i am so so honored you brought Michael Chabon to mind—I am making my way through his works now and I consider him a big influence and admire his work. haven’t read that one yet though. i do not mind the suggestion at all and i will in fact read it soon!
and yes, I won’t go into details but I know of a situation kinda like this. it’s really difficult to watch. i hope uncle mike is at least somewhat a sympathetic character.
appreciate your comment as always!
Nice reference to the sunk cost fallacy, which is so often a driver in these scams. Great story, the action was on point, found myself totally engrossed in that scene.
thanks Miles, action is something I don’t practice a lot so that is particularly nice to hear!
This was great. Tense and darkly funny. Harrow is a beautiful mess.
thanks Jon! darkly funny is usually my thing but tense isn’t, so it was a challenge trying to achieve that and gratifying to hear at least someone thinks I pulled it off
Harrow is definitely an intriguing character, I’m not sure he has much room to grow but if I made more of these like many are suggesting I’d try to put some interesting others in his orbit
Clancy, I REALLY liked it!
Thank you CS, that means a lot coming from you !!!
He’ll be back, and back doing romance scam reveals. It’s where the money is, after all. He will have to do some more personal research himself, which might make for a good story; and don’t forget that Minerva can be a target, too. And that apparent throw away comment about complicity is a “shotgun over the mantel in the first act,” right?
Haha you're not the first in this thread to mention the possible return of Harrow--all great ideas. there's a few ideas I can think of, especially with the research thing.
And Minerva! great catch. whoever he hires to be a receptionist could definitely be a great side character.
Dolorous eyes behind thick glasses
Comb-over soaked with molasses
A pure victim’s picture
So say many scriptures
Yet he’s really a wide-eyed fascist
brilliant. definitely a fascist who zieg heils to kenneth copeland
Great story! I read it with my morning coffee and the writing really activated my senses. Excited to dwell on it all day.
thanks RS! don’t dwell on it too hard. i find it kind of depressing haha!
What a story! Another Harrow episode is in order! I love these two character descriptions, Clancy. I see them very clearly:
"... a twice (almost thrice) divorced man with a mail-order prescription for hair-loss drugs and an unfair addiction to pornography..."
"... Eyes large and watery behind hugely magnifying glasses, foppish comb-over hair, a fleshy face atop a rotund body..."
thanks sharron, i love those lines too! you always choose the best ones. i so appreciate your readership. you’re the second to call for a second harrow story so we’ll see!
absolute fire clancy. please make harrow a recurring character!
thanks EJ! i dove a bit into your domain of more genre oriented stuff here so coming from you, that’s a high compliment. we’ll see about Harrow ahaha, I’ve had the thought…